SeedlessFruit

Finally finished it. :) More coming soon! Thank you to everyone supporting me and my music.

LEILANI

Written for my mom Leilani Tuitau-Utuone.  My mom IS the strongest woman i know.  I remember her as a kid, her coming home so tired from work, holding down two jobs at times, and always having the time to hear me out when i needed her.   She has always supported and encouraged me.  In school I told her I wanted to be a musician, she came to every concert, i told her i wanted to be a poet she bought me a journal. Even as an adult i told her a year ago I wanted to pick music back up, and I was going to fix up this old guitar I found (the one in all my videos) and she took it upon herself to get it restored for me. Cant thank God enough for my mom.  
Back in November, she had a stroke. It was one of the scariest moments of my life.  She had a pretty lengthy stay in the hospital following, one night i got a little boozed up in the parking lot of the hospital (lol) and decided to write this.
'Leilani' means heavenly garland of flowers. I wanted to infuse the message of this song with that name-meaning, as well as my own artistic response to one of my favorite Langston Hughes poems called 'Mother To Son'

Lyrics:

She’s
That flower that bloomed
In late June.
Scorched from a million summer-
Summer suns.
Her petals worn
From many winter rain drops,
But through it all,
She’s facing up to the sky…

When the heavens above
Are shrouded in clouds
She sprouts up from the ground
A piece of heaven on earth…

Rooted,
In sandy soil, cigarette
Ash and dirt.
She worked her fingers
To the bone
To stand so pretty
To stand so tall.
& at the end of her day,
The setting sun, she’ll gaze
With tired eyes,
She’ll crack that smile on her face…

When the heavens above,
Are shrouded in clouds,
She sprouts up from the ground
A piece of heaven on earth…

singcho89:

OPI PHOTOGRAPHY

presentation of the native.

the idea of how people may view us and what we do as individual.

mainly us samoan like an old saying goes 

one bad apple spoils the whole tree.

the idea of seeing the samoa culture in places were people may think doesn’t exsist

Bounced Checks:

a song about promises….

You got paid on Friday
& by Monday it was gone
Had a kickback on Sunday
& lost it all slappin bones
They shut off your lights
& you called me up for a loan
Now its your payday again
But you ain’t pickin up your phone

So next time you write me a check
That that ass can’t cash
Homie move it down the line
To the next foolish man

Take your fairytale love,
over to Disneyland
‘Forever’ is a concept
a fickle mind cant grasp
‘Cause you desire me today
but you’ll discard me tomorrow
and I’ll be picking up my heart
from the bottom of the bottle

So before you write me a check
That that ass can’t cash
Baby move it down the line
To the next foolish man

Preacher man at the pulpit said
He could save my soul
Just make a donation
And wait for the altar call
So I confessed my sins
But when he heard them aloud
He said the life I live
Is an abomination!

So I told him…

Next time you write me a check
That that ass cant cash
Preacher move it down the line
To the next foolish man

They can promise you dollars
They can promise you love
Acceptance, salvation,
and all the above…

But if they’re writing you a check
That that ass cant cash
Tell them move it down the line
to the next foolish man! 

Promises

If a man vow a vow to the LORD, or swear an oath to bind his soul with a bond; he shall not break his word, he shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth.  (Numbers Chapter 30:2)

I was up late trying to wrap my head around the meaning of that. I could hear my dad’s voice. He used to always say “if you say you’re gonna do something, do it!" As a really observant child-with a slightly cynical nature- constantly hearing that from him, I took it more so as a challenge to mentally note as many occasions in which he wasn’t able to keep his own word.

But as an adult, I see just how hard it is to be a man of your word. So much so, that I’ve replaced I promise with I’ll try. Life is just too full of unexpected circumstances.  Besides that, a man is just a man. However honorable he might be, beneath his good reputation, he’s still just a man. 

Man is flawed: that’s probably the only certain fact about human nature is that human beings are flawed. We’re packed with so many uncertainties, so much unpredictable behavior. Viewing the world from this stance, it just seems to me like it isn’t really wise to make promises, and to expect others to honor theirs. When someone gives you their word does it really guarantee anything?  I think all it does is warrants you the right to expect, and adds pressure onto them to deliver.

I think I’d prefer to spare myself from having to deal with all of that by choosing not to expect, and instead just applauding good effort when I see it. 

'well i couldve sworn i told you i was mean!'

-Elle <3

'…the same mistakes we grow from
we wish we hadn’t done,
yeah bittersweet indeed.
Now that i can truly see you,
you’re much too far to reach.
Still
if you see someone,
some other mans creation
Who should come to you more whole than i did,
& you should want them…
Just remember,
You don’t truly see someone,
Until you love them…’
K’LA

WICKED GAME

I think the saying goes “hurt people, hurt people.”

Though now I try to live my life proving that statement false, there are undoubtedly previous chapters of my life that attest to the very truth of it.  Chapters in which I was unequipped with healthy tools to process and release feeling so damaged by those who hurt me.  Instead, I’d hold on tight to my hurt feelings and I’d relinquish the anger I associated with them on to those around me. At that time, I selfishly wanted everyone in my life to reflect the hurt I felt.  It was my own foolish notion that if I surrounded myself with those who allowed themselves to be victimized by their dysfunctions, I could find a sense of normalcy to how I wallowed in mine.

One day I just woke up and realized that I had latched on to so many who were just as ill-skilled as me at moving on from hurt.  I noticed how I’d formed unhealthy, volatile relationships to those I knew in all honesty would only hurt me.  Every day since that awakening has been a journey to correct the error in my ways.  Today, I feel freed.  There’s something liberating about reflecting on those times and truly seeing the contrast to how I live my life today-about seeing progress. It’s an ongoing process, and I know the journey isn’t over yet. I’m still a work in progress.

This song Wicked Game is a reflection of that part of my life when dwelling in my own hurt catalyzed dysfunction and only put me in situations that generated more inevitable hurt. I was introduced to an old Mary Wells song my brother in law played at a bbq called Your Old Stand By.  I wrote Wicked Game after playing that Mary Wells song over and over again.  

Wicked Game is a tragic ‘love’ story about a lonely soul who looks for fulfillment by becoming romantically involved with a former lover. A lover who’s moved on and is in a relationship with someone else… 

Wicked Game

It’s the wicked game,
I play
The lonely cries at night
That keep my blues awake…

‘Cause we got history
& we got chemistry
But you say you like me best
at the distance you keep

‘Cause that’s the wicked game
You play
Your lonely cries at night
That keep your sleep away…

Then you ring me up on the phone
When he leaves you home alone
Feelin’ blue
We share an embrace or two

‘Cause thats the wicked game
We play
The secret dance we dance
When the cats away

& we just lay for a while
Thinking up our alibis
Then off to him you go
And again I’m here all alone.

‘Cause that’s the wicked game
I play
The lonely cries at night
That keep my blues awake.

Music and Writing…

I’ve taken a deep plunge head first into the likes of Mary Wells, Irma Thomas, Bettye Swann, Fontella Bass, Sam Cooke, Donny Hathaway, Al Green, Ray Charles, and Otis Redding.

I think it started with my infatuation with Amy Winehouse’s Back To Black album.  Which would make sense, seeing how her Frank album turned me on to Billie Holiday, Ella Fitzgerald, Sarah Vaughan, and my favorite of the cluster: Dinah Washington.  Talk about name-dropping huh? hehe

Amy’s one of those few artists for me that listening to her music makes me want to look into her musical influences, which as of today has broughten me to this phase of early and old soul music.

I love the way things were expressed back in those days. I think the structure of the songs were relatively simple.  No complicated key or rhythm changes.  Just simple but soothing melodies, and honest and profound lyrics.

My songwriting has definitely been influenced by what I’ve been listening to.  I’ve stopped trying so hard to showcase my bad ass beginner guitar skills (hehe), and spent more time on grouping just the right words into a euphonious flow of expression.  As of late its been working out really nice.  I feel like my songs are more of my truths, my secrets, and my perspective on experiences.  To some extent, its both helped and hurt my showmanship. I was shy about performing before, simplifying my guitar licks has helped with my approach to performing in front of people. But the more of myself i bear in my songs, the deeper the attachment to them, which makes it that much harder for me to share them.

I’ll keep working at it…

misplaced honesty

Where I lose myself. Its usually in that place where i’m too into myself. Too self aware to the.point where I’m completely unaware that I’ve lost all sense of disclosure.

I’m more than just me, I’m everything I touch. I forget that sometimes.